Funkdafied Wrestling Federation FWF held Rampage at the Kosciusco County Fairgrounds in Warsaw, IN at 7:30pm on Friday, February 10 2017.
- To start the night, Steven Drochner comes out to yell about last year something something contract something, and there was going to be a murder tonight! (As someone who had no idea what the story was about going into the night, I still don’t). But anyway, his opponent Jorge Bravo came out, and as you would expect when someone threatens murder, it didn’t go so well, and Drochner took the pin.
- The Slobberknockers (BD Smooth and Hardcore Harry) came out for their match and assaulted the audience with visions of their unclothed upper halves. Yeesh. There was even body oil involved, and not necessarily each applying it to just themselves. Thankfully Cletus Farmer and Lil Hellion came out to get the match started. Poor Lil Hellion, who is so skinny he disappears when he turns sideways, spent a lot of time getting tossed around, but eventually Cletus and Hellion came away with the win.
- JC Bunyan defeated Deputy Dave. After the match, Deputy Dave decided to take out his frustrations on Bunyan, but out to make the save come …. the Midwest Monsters?? Brutus offers to let bygones be bygones because the Midwest Monsters hate the Police Department as much as Bunyan! Tank offers his hand and Bunyan takes it, although perhaps somewhat cautiously? Let’s see how this plays out!
- In a surprise match, Kongo Kong defeated Noah Walker. Kong remains the FWF Heavyweight Champion.
- Ames took on Nick Cutler. Ames tried to set his attentions on several members of the audience, but no one was interested. This was the longest match of the night and my favorite. There was a lot of good offense and many near falls. Eventually Nick Cutler gets the win.
- JD Smooth took on Fireball next. Fireball had quite a large cheering section, and JD Smooth had an even larger booing section. A while into the match, Smooth took out a small chain and clobbered Fireball while the ref wasn’t looking, to get the win. Happy the Dog, the walking Aaron’s advertisement – who had been dealt a kick to the gut by Smooth before the match – got the ref to see the chain, which had fallen from Smooth’s grip after the pinfall. Well, it was either Happy the Dog or the lady sitting in the row in front of me who was about to burst several blood vessels yelling at the ref that Smooth had used a chain, but either way, the ref caught on. The ref restarted the match, and Fireball got the pin shortly thereafter.
- The Midwest Monsters defeated the Storm Brothers, Kevin and Theo. During the match, Kevin was dismayed at Theo playing a bit to the audience, and also continuing to give it his all even though they’d “already been paid!” Post match, Kevin let his temper get the best of him; he decked Theo and walked out on him.
- Lightning Bolt Johnson and Drax O’Brien traded offense for a while until a ref bump took him out of commission. Drax goes outside to get a chair, but drops it as the ref starts coming around. LBJ picks up the chair and clearly has an internal debate with himself on the pros and cons of using the chair. The lady in front of me who has finally recovered from Fireball’s match comes close to needing paramedics while screaming at LBJ to drop the chair. If only Darth Vader has someone urging him away from the dark side so vocally! But, sad to say, LBJ’s impulses get the best of him and he delivers a wicked chair shot to Drax’s head, drawing the DQ. So he lost the match, but it probably felt pretty damn good. O’Brien had it coming anyway.
- In the main event, it was Alexander S Kirk vs Matt O’Hare vs Jacob Brawn in a triple threat match. There’s probably a story behind the match, but hell if I know what it was. I had not seen Brawn before, and he’s now one of my favorites. Action went out of the ring a few times, and there was almost a 4th entrant as Overalls Guy from the front row had words for Matt O’Hare. It was good fun, but you could tell the crowd was starting to get a bit tired by the time of this 9th match. Alexander S Kirk got the victory.
- The biggest question for me after this card is: Are BD Smooth and JD Smooth related? Might we see the Smooths against the Storms? Maybe the Storms could call in Corey Storm from the New Blood event, held the past weekend in South Bend? NWIWRAP will investigate!