Results from SPW Smashfunk 8, Sun Nov 20, 2016

Smashmouth Pro Wrestling held Smashfunk 8 at Inman’s Bowling and Recreation Center, Valparaiso IN, at 3pm on Sunday November 20, 2016.  The show was the second of a two-day pair, the first half being FWF Smashfunk 7 the previous night in Warsaw. IN.  Props to all involved for pulling double duty and performing twice in 24 hours, and also for putting in the mileage.

Brutus Dylan defeated Fireball. This was a fairly one-sided match, although Fireball did get a bit of offense in.  From my front row chair, the highlight of the match was this:  Dylan dropped Fireball down, and he ended up in the upright seated position in the middle of the ring; Dylan ran the ropes from one side to another to build momentum for a basement clothesline to the seated Fireball.  This seems like a high impact move, and the clenched-teeth look of “Oh shit” on Fireball’s face as he braced himself to receive the hit was great.

Mr. 3% Jon Hudson defeated Kyle Kaylor.  Hudson was originally supposed to face Shane Mercer, who is out with a concussion.  Hudson got on the mic and ran down Mercer for letting a little thing like a concussion keep him out of the ring to fulfill his obligations.  Well, anyway, apparently Mercer has been replaced by the novice Kyle Kaylor (I’m guessing this was one of his first matches) who was so skinny that he would vanish when he turned sideways.  It turned out to be a really fun match; being a totally uninformed outsider, I may be wrong about this, but I thought it was really cool to see the experienced Hudson lead the young guy through it.  After one time when Hudson slammed Kaylor from overhead really hard (I was sure the kid’s clock got cleaned there), he then picked him up and did it again three times in a row.  I don’t know how Kaylor got up from it, but he almost seemed energized by being nearly murdered and brought a fun match the rest of the way!

Dakota Prodigy defeated Shady Chris Xion.  Lots of energy from both and good banter with the crowd by Xion.  Either of these guys is fun to watch, together it was one of my favorites of the night.  Everyone should go to Dakota’s Facebook page to see what his ankle looked like afterwards!  The link looks awful, but it works:

The Bambino Family defeated Kenny Courageous, Devon Fury, and Rex Hart.   I am a bad correspondent and actually do not remember who won this match now; I forgot to change my “vs” to “def” or “lost” in between the teams on my cell phone notes.  Dang it.  I guess there is history here, and the last time the Bambino family appeared at a Smashmouth Pro Wrestling event, there was something about an award to Rex Hart but Hart wasn’t able to be there, and I was confused then and I’m confused now.  It seems like I should know something about the storyline here that I’m missing.  Courageous, Fury, and Hart were a very popular team, and it seemed like some people in the crowd were there to see them.  At one point, one of the Bambinos got hit so hard he lost his Italian accent when complaining to the ref about something.  EDIT:  Thanks to Jeremy Seabolt for providing more info on the match: it was Kenny Courageous’s last active match, and Hart and Fury came out of retirement to work it with him.  That’s awesome.

After intermission, Tank defeated Jorge Bravo. Poor Jorge brought his best, but you know … it’s Tank.

In a gauntlet match for the SPW Tag Team Titles, The Legion took on a carousel of other teams.  Travis Titan and the Maltese Tiger were out first and dispatched very quickly.  Thanks for coming.  Then Gabe “The Brave” Juarez and Ray Orndorff (it’s not Smashmouth without a Ray Orndorff appearance!) gave it a good try, but Orndorff was pinned.  Next, Team Legend-Dairy (Alexander S Kirk and Matt O’Hare, with Cinnamon) was announced, but before they could hit the ring, the Midwest Monsters appeared and taunted Legion, luring them out of the ring on a chase.  To Team Legend-Dairy’s credit, they worked hard to allow the ref to count to 10, eliminating Legion.  Legend-Dairy started to graciously celebrate being new champions, until they were informed there was one more team remaining:  Marshe Rockett & Acid Jaz (Da Soul Touchaz)!  Damn, Marshe Rockett is stacked.  Rockett and Jaz spoiled Legend-Dairy’s celebration and beat them – we have new SPW Tag Team champs!

Anthony Toatele (w/ Kenzi) defeated Ames and Colin Combridge to retain SPW North American Championship in a triple threat match.  Ames was stunning in his leopard outfit, but Kenzi was not swayed by his charms, so he left without either of the title or the gal.

Abyss and Lightning Bolt Johnson defeated Dru Skillz and Officer Rod Street (w/ Sgt Eva Lonis).  Dru Skillz is the SPW World Champion.   Highlight:  LBJ getting hit on the head with a stop sign by Eva Lonis.  Also, Street, Lonis, and Skillz all bunched up around Abyss trying to handcuff him to the ropes, only to have Abyss escape with Eva handcuffed to the ropes instead.  Janice made an appearance; she did not get to pierce any flesh, but she did get stuck to the cloth wrap of a turnbuckle after Abyss missed Skillz with a swing.  After the match, the Midwest Monsters ran to the ring to attack Abyss and LBJ, showing who are the real monsters around here!  Abyss recovered and declared a Monsters Ball Tag Team Match vs. the Midwest Monsters at Smashfest on April 8, 2017:  the Midwest Monsters vs … Decay!  Decay!  Decaaaaaay!

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