Results from ARW PRO Red, White, and Bruised: Saturday July 8, 2017

Standard

ARWPRO held Red, White, and Bruised at the American Legion Post 100 in Lake Station, IN, at 7:30pm on Saturday, July 8, 2017.

Edit: You can catch a video recap of this show by Ref Dave and King Bishop themselves at:  PART 1PART 2.

On my way to the show, I realized I was driving on Ripley Street.  This was an amazing coincidence because on the next night, July 9, I would be helping out at a Porter County img_20170708_190135.jpgSpecial Olympics fundraiser at Zao Island in Valpo, which featured 5 bands playing – including Ripley Street, named after this very road!  I had two thoughts, one that Joey Boom Boom is very in tune with the idea of community and has supported many charity events, so maybe he’d let me plug the fundraiser in Valpo at the ARWPRO show.  And also, since I was stuck at that long-ass traffic light at Central and Ripley, I had time to take a picture of the Ripley Street sign and pass it along to the band.  Well, both missions were accomplished, thanks Joey!

The first match features Kevin Storm vs. a returning Shane Fury.  Kevin Storm lets us all know he hates coming to this place, and Shane Fury lets us know he was happy to be IMG_20170708_195754back.  They banter a bit to add to the entertainment value of the match, but in the longer run Storm works over Fury’s leg several times, until Theo Storm strolls to ringside with King Bishop in tow.  Storm # 2 creates a distraction to  Storm # 1 so that Fury can clobber him with a spinning elbow, and then Fury gets the pin.  In the picture to the left, it’s going to suck for both of them, but since Fury is upside down, I think he’s going to get the worst of it. 

Uncle Charlie brings out the entire Family, which seems to be growing – perhaps by adoption or hostile takeover of other families, I don’t know.  Out here for this match is OSM (Old School Manson, the disciplinarian), Lilith (for gender equality), X Caliber (the combatant), and Twig (the mascot).  Or rather, Stick, since Uncle Charlie generously upgrades Rancid Joey Rak from the Twig of a branch of the Family to a Stick.  This match is to be X Caliber vs. Theo Storm.  Storm isIMG_20170708_194757 unfazed by the numbers game.  As you can guess, Kevin Storm comes out to show “two can play at that game” and interferes in the match when he jumps in the ring to attack Theo.  This causes X Caliber to get disqualified.  Good grief, the one time the Family *doesn’t* cheat to get the win, and they get DQ’d.  In the picture to the right, Uncle Charlie prepares to catch the giant beach ball descending from overhead. 

A sad King Bishop comes out to do a hard thing, which is call out Moxie Mollie and Dakota Prodigy for the purpose of stripping the Indiana State Championship from Dakota Prodigy, who (a) looks to have gained 10 pounds of hair, and (b) is unable to defend it after his injury at the last ARWPRO event.  Of course, Dakota and Moxie are aggravated by this until Moxie comes up with a grand plan:  since she is an integral part of the “team” now (as Dakota agrees), she should be allowed to defend the title in Dakota’s place!  Dakota and the crowd think this is a good idea that could not possibly go wrong now or later, and so King Bishop is swayed to allow it.  KB introduces Moxie’s opponent, Dante DVS.  Now Dante is in disbelief that he has to wrestle “a girl” and makes it known through many sexist comments; I hope he doesn’t have a wife or mom to go home to!  He says he is not afraid to beat up a girl and shows it by controlling most of the match. However, Molly takes advantage of a sudden opening and gets the pin.  Now I wonder, if Molly is able to defend the title until Dakota is ready to have it back, will she hand it right over, or will there be trouble in Team Moxikota?  (I just made that name up for them, since I don’t think they have a name.)  Hmmm…

Prior to the fourth match, a sparkly purple sequined jacket starts walking to the ring. Inside the jacket happens to be Moretti Agency manager Chazz Moretti, but the jacket is the real story here.  It’s amazing!  King Bishop has to do ownership things again, and because The Jacket’s team IMG_20170708_201859-1Fatal Attraction has not defended the ARWPRO Tag Team titles in a long time, he is stripping them of the titles, and having a tag team match between Punisher 747 & Brutus Owen Wesker, BOW (with Ratt J Flywheel) and The Picture Show, the winner to be the new ARWPRO Tag Team Champions.  Of course, The Jacket … I mean Chazz Moretti (I’m sorry, but the sheer magnificence of The Jacket makes you forget the details, just look at it!) is very aggrieved by this, and warns King Bishop that “the only thing worse than a psychotic is a well-funded psychotic, as you’ll find out later!”  With those ominous words, The Ja … dammit, Chazz Moretti departs and the tag team match begins.  Eventually, the size of Punisher 747 and BOW becomes too much for The Picture Show, and Punisher 747 and BOW become your new ARWPRO tag team champs … and their first action is to beat down their long-time manager Ratt J. Flywheel and replace him with Chazz Moretti!  So when it’s all said and done, the tag team titles stay with the Moretti Agency.  Well played, sir!  In Moretti’s own words from his Facebook page, “KB Chuck Hines, I hope you learned something last night. You cannot take what belongs to The Moretti Agency!!! I always have contingency plans for everything. Last night I put the world on notice that soon every ARW Pro Wrestling Championship will reside in my trophy case!!!”  By the way, see the cameraman in the picture above, and how upright he is?  Keep that it mind for later on. 

After intermission, Joey Boom Boom comes out to start the proceedings, and announces the following match will have a 20 minute time limit!  I didn’t remember if the first half matches had time limits announced, but when I heard this next one did, cynical me thought, “Well, a time limit got announced, so that means the match will be a time limit draw!”  Nick Cutler is out to take on Superbad Santana Starks.  And Cutler eventually gets the win with a low blow to Starks, well before the time limit expired! Sorry, no picture here, I was too busy eating a hot dog and trying not to get mustard on my nice new Power Ranger themed Dark Horse Nation / Nick Cutler shirt!

The second to last match features Mr. 3% Jon Hudson against Willie “Da Bomb” Richardson.  Again, Joey Boom Boom goes with the announcement of a 20 minute time limit, so surely this one will go that limit, right?  Both men come out with shirts saying “Action, Reaction, Consequences” in different styles – they have a bit of fun with that, and then get down to business.  The match starts with gentlemanly one-upsmanship (see below: Hudson’s gentlemanly arm bar, along with Richardson’s gentlemanly elbow drop) but gets a bit snippier and snippier as things go along.  Eventually, Hudson’s temper starts to get the better of him; when the ref suggests he should chill the hell out, Hudson shoves the ref … and gets disqualified.

EDIT: Mr. Hudson has pointed out – somewhat impolitely, I might add, but I guess that’s what’s to be expected of him now – that the DQ actually came from before, when he “kicked Willie in the balls”.  So he’s right, I did not remember that correctly, but what I do remember correctly is the name of the person who will teach Mr. Hudson not to get so full of himself, on August 05, 2017 at Headlock on Hunger (Texas Roadhouse, Portage IN): Buff Bagwell. Anyway, carrying on with the original recap: 

This sets Hudson off completely, and he clotheslines the ref.  A group of people come in to check on the ref … including the cameraman shown above in the picture with The Jack- dammit! – Chazz Moretti and King Bishop.  In his rage, Hudson starts mixing it up with the people checking on the ref.  He picks up the cameraman and with a suplex, flips him backwards and completely overhead in a full circle like a propeller.  Remember in A Christmas Story when the narrator talks about how when knocked to the ground by bullies, little Ralphie “laid there like a slug, it was his only defense”?  That’s the cameraman.  More people come out and help clear away the mayhem.  Hudson gets on the mic and rails against ARWPRO management and locker room.  For his trouble, he gets a match made for him by Joey Boom Boom against Buff Bagwell at the upcoming outdoor ARWPRO event (see below).

A somber side note, it turns out that the cameraman, hereby known as Victim B, is the son of Ref Dave, hereby known as Victim A.  Victim A had this to say on his Facebook page:

This is my 22nd year as a pro-wrestling referee. I’m having the most fun, thanks to my family at ARW PRO – that is, until last nite. I met a wrestler named Jon Hudson (Mr. 3%) a couple of years back. We immediately had that “connection”, one that rarely happens between an official & a wrestler. I became his referee for all of his matches & we quickly became good friends. That all changed during an action-packed show in Lake Station. Something “snapped” inside Jon Hudson. He showed us a dark side, one that I, our fans, & the entire ARW PRO crew have never seen before! He went ballistic after I disqualified him for giving a blatant low blow to Willie “The Bomb” Richardson. He seemed to calm down a bit & even shook my hand, a handshake, however, immediately followed by the hardest, stiffest clothesline. It knocked me off my feet with such force, it flipped me over on to my front! My son Josh Innes – (ringside videographer) – & “The Picture Show” ran into the ring to check on me, intervene, and to calm Hudson down. Hudson would have none of it, manhandling Marcus Portrait & Johnny Showtime like they were rag dolls! As I was being helped out of the ring by referee Mike & our top-notch ring crew, Hudson proceeded to give my son Josh a German suplex that literally flipped him 360 degrees. I yelled, “Jon, that’s my son!” – still too banged up to even try to help him. Jon Hudson had his “moment” on the microphone, Joey Boom Boom & King Bishop quickly let him know who REALLY runs ARW PRO, & Hudson, well, he couldn’t care less! So, Jon, I hope you read this post & that you’re paying close attention: WE ARE DONE! I always had your back, but you stabbed me in mine. You’re going to be fined for putting your hands on me & I hope that it’s a lot more than you have in your Malibu piggy bank. Referees never get respect in the Squared Circle, & that’s okay. But, what’s NOT okay is what you did to my son! I’ll forgive you eventually, but I will never – EVER – forget!

Note that this match, the second in a row to be announced as having a 20 minute time limit, also did not go that time limit.  What is with these mind games, Mr. Boom Boom???

Finally we had the main event, featuring Ivan Manson vs. Max Holiday for the ARWPRO Heavyweight Championship.  The first thing the ref did was try to even the odds by chasing away most of the Family, although Uncle Charlie and Lilith were allowed to remain at ringside.  Ratt J Flywheel, after his beating earlier, was still able to accompany Max Holiday to the ring. At the end of the match, Lilith comes up with a keyboard fromIMG_20170708_215553 somewhere, and passes it to Manson in the ring, while Charlie distracts the ref.  Now foreign objects in wrestling are like magnets.  If the person the object is intended for is, say, magnetic North, and the opponent is then magnetic South, the object will always also be charged North, thus being repelled from the person it was intended for and into the hands of his opponent. Don’t argue with me people, there are Laws of Thermodynamics, and there are Laws of Wrestling.  And so, per this inviolable natural law, the keyboard gets into the hands of Holiday, who cracks it over the head of Manson while the ref was still distracted.   And Max Holiday retains his title!

While Uncle Charlie and Manson were grousing to Joey Boom Boom about Holiday’s cheating ways, Joey decided that he could make things right by putting Manson in a 4 Corners of Doom No-DQ match against Tommy Dreamer at the upcoming ARWPRO event.

And so this evening comes to a close, and the next ARWPRO event is Headlock on Hunger, at 12:30pm Saturday August 5, at the Texas Roadhouse on Rt 6 in Portage.  All proceeds go to the Portage Food Pantry, although I feel it would be right for a small portion to go to securing a proper storage method for Chazz Moretti’s jacket to ensure its safety.  Announced matches so far are:

  • Angel Armani and The Police Department vs. The Picture Show and Al Snow
  • Mr. 3% Jon Hudson vs. Buff Bagwell
  • Ivan Manson vs. Tommy Dreamer in a 4 Corners of Doom No-DQ match.

_________________________

If you’re so inclined, check out the Northwest Indiana Wrestling Action Program (NWIWrap) broadcast Sundays at 9:30pm, right after Mostly Metal, which runs Sundays from 8-9:30pm, on WVLP 103.1FM in Valparaiso, IN.  If you’re not in Valpo, catch it streaming on http://www.wvlp.org and the Tune In Radio app.  Rebroadcasts happen Wednesdays 10pm – midnight, and NWIWrap is archived on YouTube, just search for NWIWrap.  You can find @NWIWrap on Twitter.  And you can subscribe to the nwiwrap.wvlp@gmail.com Google calendar, where I try to keep up to date calendar postings of shows in and around the NWI region.  Because WRESTLING! 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s